On Your Own (Race) Track

I am blessed with a career that mixes my talents of early education, yoga and language. Today, in a class of 4 year olds, we were preparing to play a game about driving a car. I went around and asked what everyone was driving. Some kids said fire truck, ice cream truck, purple car and then "Lightening Mcqueen!"' is yelled out. Lightning Mcqueen is a red racecar from the movie Cars. After that, the next child said, "Well, I'm driving a racecar too, and it's faster than his." Then another child spoke over him, "mine is fastest."

I decided to interrupt. It was disheartening to see the first child who chose Lightening Mcqueen change face from excited to slighted. I asked the kids to image this: Everyone one of you has your own racetrack. We are all driving and some will enjoy a slow ride and the view, others will speed by and that will be ok for them. Everyone has a different racetrack. If we look to someone else's track, we will compare ourselves and that causes us to feel different. (And, in the untrained mind, comparing to others will tend to cause one to feel superior or inferior, i.e. I'm better or I'm not enough.)

The children followed up with beautiful questions.

Q: What if I drive off my racetrack and then go on to another track?

A: That overlap is called family, friendship, love and togetherness.
Q: What if you crash into another car?
A: Then you slow down, recover and get back on track.
Q: What if I want to park?
A: Then enjoy the scenery.

I was really glad this lesson came up organically based on the natural competitive nature of children. We can not expect them to reduce comparative thinking unless we demonstrate ideas on their level. Children require, more so than any words or lesson can tell, adults and role models exhibiting desired behavior.

As adults, if we are comparing ourselves to others, like our bodies to models in magazines, or our careers to other peoples', we are showing kids that comparing is appropriate behavior. When, what we need to show them is praise for ourselves when we do well and acknowledgment when we make mistakes. We can raise humble, accepting children if we become a bit more humble and accepting ourselves.

I invite you to try to notice when you compare yourself to others and to redirect! Then, lead by example.
On your mark, get set, GO!